Worst Hangover Stories Volume I: Six Stitches & Morning After Shots

One night while my fraternity brothers and I were out drinking, we decided it was a smart idea to test ourselves on who could drink most of the plastic handle of vodka we had bought earlier. I and one other brother took the lead and started chugging this handle. I was one-hundred percent sober before I took a big chug of this plastic handle then, shortly after a long chug I found myself completely wasted. Knowing that I was wasted I decided it was time to go see my other friend to pick up more alcohol to bring back to where everyone else was (I have no idea why). On my way there I completely black out. Meanwhile, back at the house where everyone was, the other brother who had drank copious amounts of the handle had also blacked out. Luckily, there was another one of the brothers that came with me on my long journey to get more booze.

Walking up the stairs to the destination I was going to I tripped (so I am told) up the stairs (yes up the stairs) and barely caught my fall with my hands. So, as I am getting practically carried back into the apartment thinking I have just made a strategic decision to get more booze and survived without a cut or a scratch, I walk into the apartment covered in blood. Everyone was astonished and could not believe their eyes. The guy carrying me didn't even notice he was covered in blood until we stepped foot in the apartment light. It turns out (so we think) that when I fell up the stairs and used my hands to brace myself, there must have been glass or a sharp piece of metal hanging or on the old built stairs that sliced open my pinky finger.

Considering I was totally blotto, everyone tried wrapping my hand and stopping the blood. Since I was so intoxicated my blood was so thin and the cut on my pinky was so swollen it bled through the bandage and through the wrap. This is where the mayhem starts. Meanwhile everyone who is trying to take care of me the guy who took the huge chug of vodka is getting forced to puke but decides to push one of the other brothers instead into shower glass door, breaking it and slicing open his arm open. So, there’s two guys very drunk and bleeding all over this apartment. It looked like a scene out of Saw. Luckily there was a sober driver there who took us to the hospital but with myself being a convincing drunk, I convinced the driver I was fine and that we should go to this party and so we did.

Coming into the party completely trashed (I still have no recollection of this) I am nonchalantly walking up to people, high fiving them, hugging, acting as normal as can be. Obviously, I was leaving a huge trail of blood all over the house I was at and all over the people I was talking to. Thank god one of my friends saw me and took me to the bathroom and then home to stop the bleeding.

I woke up and my finger was completely sliced open, but I thought it was too late to get stitches (usually you can't get stitches after a certain time due to risk of infection) so I wrapped it up and went on with my day. Still intoxicated from the night before, I go apologize to the people I bled on last night and went to the apartment to clean up my blood. After cleaning up all the blood, I take a look at my finger and see that it is swelling up and the fat inside my pinky finger is starting to come out. At that moment I decided I should probably go to the ER. So, I waited for the ER for like two hours (at this point my hangover is starting to kick in) and finally get in. The doctor takes a look and asks me if I want to risk the infection and get stitches or have a nasty scar. I decided to get it stitched up.

So, anyone who has gotten stitches awake knows that they have to stick a needle of numbing liquid near the wound, so you don't feel it (just so you guys know I had needles). So, they stick a big needle into my swollen pinky and inject this painful liquid that I can feel coursing through my wound. At this point I am about to pass out and throw up at the same time. They go to stitch it, but the numbing shot didn't do its job, so they had to stick another needle into the web of my fingers and then inject the painful liquid. Sweating profusely, I am convinced this is the worst hangover I've ever had. However, I was wrong. The second numbing shot ended up not working so not only did the doctor have to give me one more but four more. A whopping six shots to my swollen cut-up pinky, in-between my fingers, and around my knuckles to totally numb my finger so they could sew it up.

I had a haircut appointment the next day, which I was late to because the hospital took so long. I left the hospital and jumped on one of those Bird Scooters and tried scootering to my haircut appointment a mile away by bandage over my stitches kept falling off because I needed to use the throttle with my right hand where the wound was (I am also right-handed). Frustrated, I walked the rest of the way. Got my haircut and barely had time to shower because I had an in-person writing exam that night. After the numbing shots wore off, I spent the next three hours writing an exam with my stitched-up pinky. That was my worst hangover story.

- Submission from UCLA Student

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